break.
1.
“It just wasn’t working”
now i feel small
scrawny white little boy now
scrawny white little soul now
arms 5 inches around
heart no wider
“I thought you were different”
pant size 28
waist. seam.
hip bone cocked
out like an
indifferent gun
no bullets
cease fire
safety on
safety off
click
click
click
click
false trigger
false hope
“You are a hypocrite”
full plate
empty skin
pale dream
did i- did i-
did i
let you in?
spirit dangling
loose s- s- s-
s
k
i
n
nnnnn-
“Everything ends sooner or later”
bones crack
hollow catharsis
empty
no plegm
no no no no-
nothing.
“Just go and have fun now”
don’t make me feel small
degradation
degraded
degr-
dead.
2.
eyes on the prize
better look out he’s got that
gleam in his eyes
pretty skin
let him in
a quick, fat rush
and a spurt from within
a hand
a fist
a clench
all it needs is
just a little pinch
inside a cry
a fowl, deep
wind-killing “ask why”
in the end he won’t care
in the end he doesn’t love you
you wait
it gushes
it breaks
he pushes
out it comes
ventricles and venom
atria and arsenic
red on the floor
black in the back
of your pretty
soulless
drained dead dry
fucked over mind.
you always knew he was the one.
3.
shutter, snap
click, flash
memory on paper
a glare from the sun
and you just can’t
see his eyes
stupid camera
stupid boy
“you squinted”
he said
“look a mess”
he said
why can’t you just
open
your
eyes?
i don’t need your polaroid pity
don’t need your
quilted canon flash--
stupid sony smirk
i was never alone
it was never just me
not alone not me
not me not my not we not our--
take your picture
it lasted longer
you
faded
away.
“It just wasn’t working”
now i feel small
scrawny white little boy now
scrawny white little soul now
arms 5 inches around
heart no wider
“I thought you were different”
pant size 28
waist. seam.
hip bone cocked
out like an
indifferent gun
no bullets
cease fire
safety on
safety off
click
click
click
click
false trigger
false hope
“You are a hypocrite”
full plate
empty skin
pale dream
did i- did i-
did i
let you in?
spirit dangling
loose s- s- s-
s
k
i
n
nnnnn-
“Everything ends sooner or later”
bones crack
hollow catharsis
empty
no plegm
no no no no-
nothing.
“Just go and have fun now”
don’t make me feel small
degradation
degraded
degr-
dead.
2.
eyes on the prize
better look out he’s got that
gleam in his eyes
pretty skin
let him in
a quick, fat rush
and a spurt from within
a hand
a fist
a clench
all it needs is
just a little pinch
inside a cry
a fowl, deep
wind-killing “ask why”
in the end he won’t care
in the end he doesn’t love you
you wait
it gushes
it breaks
he pushes
out it comes
ventricles and venom
atria and arsenic
red on the floor
black in the back
of your pretty
soulless
drained dead dry
fucked over mind.
you always knew he was the one.
3.
shutter, snap
click, flash
memory on paper
a glare from the sun
and you just can’t
see his eyes
stupid camera
stupid boy
“you squinted”
he said
“look a mess”
he said
why can’t you just
open
your
eyes?
i don’t need your polaroid pity
don’t need your
quilted canon flash--
stupid sony smirk
i was never alone
it was never just me
not alone not me
not me not my not we not our--
take your picture
it lasted longer
you
faded
away.